Certificate of DVS (Digital Virtual Stirlingness)
(to the tune of:"I've Been Working on the Railroad")
 

Keith's been working at computers, all these live-long years;
Keith's been working at computers, just to calm our online fears.
Can't you hear the Stirling saying: "Log on so early in the day?"
Can't you see his open-access-multi-user way?

User, won't you use, User, won't you use,
User, won't you use our full-text stuff?
User, won't you use, User, won't you use,
User-friendly info fluff?

Someone's packin' data for users,
Someone's packin' data, I know-woh-woh-woh
Someone's packin' data for users,
Pushin' through the data flow.

(And singin':)

See – Dee – DVD – oh,
See – Dee – DVD – oh - oh,
See – Dee – DVD – oooooooh,
Pushin' through the data flow.
 

    Keith, you've both practiced and preached the gospel of bits and bytes.
    Let's see if I learned the catechism correctly from you:
 

    When creation started, a dropout geek, Bill Gates,
    Played monopoly with a Microsoft most everybody hates.
    For all our money, what exactly did we get?

    We got a blackened screen
    With just one blinking cursor, a cursor colored green.

    To get some information, you had to know commands,
    And thus began the rise of roaming programming bands.
    Still, it took them years to steal the proper interface,
    Which Apple had created much to Microsoft's disgrace.
    Then, in proper time, along came the great Al Gore
    To first invent the Internet for online shops and more.

    So BYU converted, with a strong cyber-conviction,
    And the Stirling one rushed to support our database addiction.
    Now when his wife says she'd like to own a "nice green dress,"
    He thinks that she is asking for her own "IP address."
 

        Presented to Keith Stirling by Dick Hacken –9 April 2003