SURE, HUN, I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR WAY!
From east across the steppes
The Huns with their nasty reps
Looking for a continent worth dooming:
On they galloped, onward on their courses
(Some of them were even riding horses).
Yes, Hun Attila had a lot of fun
Extorting things from people on the run --
For whom was it he allocated funds?
You know for whom it was,
It was for they themselves, the Huns.
Sure, there was competition from the Vandals,
But to Attila they could hold no candles.
Mere peasants and their gold were quickly spent
Until he left the scene of the Occident.
WHO THOUGHT UP YOUR NAME, CHARLEMAGNE?
Charlie was the best
Emperor of the West.
He fought all his life (like Cowboys fight Indians),
But his Ma and his Pa were mere Carolingians.
He helped out the Pope in Rome
To keep Vandals from out of his Vatican home:
Spake the Pope: "For all of my enemies which he bombards,
I shall make Charlie the King of Lombards."
Then, with all Christian Europe to bless,
Chuck fought in Spain 'til the Moors were much less.
Many a Saxon
He put into traction
And annexed an area
Now called Bavaria.
Without modern tanks,
He ruled the Franks.
Yes, Chuck was the liveliest wire
Of the Holier-Than-Thou Roman Empire,
Oft spouting words obscene
Directed due east at the Byzantine.
His last years, he fought off the force
Of Vikings from out of the Norse.
How did he keep all his fellow men straight,
Which he should love and which he should hate?
Perhaps it suffices
To mention he had one gigantic identity crisis.
Charlemagne showed most meticulous manners at dinner,
So doesn't that make him a winner?
Yet at the top of all of his ranks,
Charlemagne was the King of the Franks,
And doesn't that make him a wiener?