DON'T YOU BELONG BACK IN IBERIA?
Born in raucous
Traveled slowly and far
Until he broke
The Spanish yoke.
He kept his courage up
By sipping cocoa
From a twelve-ounce cup
On the lower Orinoco.
Because of Simón's fame,
His Bolívar family name
Was used to name "Bolivia"
(For those who like such trivia).
Nowadays, on the Cinco de Mayo,
From Antarctica to Ohio,
Latin Americans find it cool
That Bolívar ended the Spanish rule.
But I'm still not hearing anyone from Spain
COMMANDING THE POWERS OF DARKNESS
Goethe wrote a play
In two parts
(Not seen everyday)
The life of a Mr. Faust.
Now Faust, when he was soused,
Made a pact with the devil
Which put his soul in traction;
But the deal was not on the level,
Since God had HIS fingers in the action.
By the end of Faust's mortal trial,
He'd gone back into self-denial.
By the time the actors had washed off their greasepaint,
The audience was convinced that Faust was a saint!
You have to wonder at the awful ease
With which God fooled Mephistopheles.
So here's the moral to which you must hearken:
Never put your money on the Dark One.
ADIOS TO THE WILD FRONTIER!
General Santa Anna
At the Alamo.
Things went ka-plooey
For Jim Bowie.
It was the end of the docket
For Davy Crockett.
Anger was induced in
Old Sam Houston,
'Cuz no Texan had been left livin'.
But the Mexican troops, you know,
Were just doing the job they'd been given:
To "Dismember the Alamo!"
VICKIE, CAN ALBERT COME OUT AND PLAY?
Things were never sticky for Queen Vickie
As she ruled the British Empire.
She drank her Earl Grey Tea
And never gazed on poverty.
She never had to buy a ticket to watch cricket
To Cousin Albert, she was frigid
As her rigid
(She had never been reprimanded
As a child).
Her fingernails were nicely filed;
Her dress had lace
Upon the cuff.
She showed grace,
And was never (never ever) in the buff.
She had no digestive tract,
So it is true
As a matter of fact,
That she never had to sit upon the loo.
It was boring
How she dressed
From neck to knee: you could see
She was repressed.
Her life was so... Victorian.