SEWING? ELIAS KNEW HOWE.
A stitch in time
Came in 1849.
One night, Elias dreamed.
He saw an engine which seemed
To be robbin'
From the bobbin
Thread through the needle.
Everything seemed condemned
To be hemmed.
Such was the fabric (or theme)
Of Mr. Howe's dream.
When the bloke
He didn't invent the cotton gin,
But grabbed some hunks of metal and tin...
And thus, from the mind of Elias Howe
The sewing machine sprang full blown,
Or should I say, well sewn...
NO THANKS, I COULDN'T HAVE A BITE MORE!
Looked upon her
Family in distress.
Such a cold and hungry mess!
(There was no more sassafras
Or herbal tea to warm that cold and wintry pass).
So, since she had no Tupperware,
She decided to hold a Donner Party there.
"BRING 'EM YOUNG," SAID BRIGHAM YOUNG...
Like a latter-day Melchezidek,
Brigham guided the Mormon trek
Across the North American plains,
Through the land of cereal grains.
Young prophet Young, during his commute, saw
The land of Utah.
That was the vision that he kept seeing:
A land of promise just right for skiing.
Like John the Baptist, he had no money,
But only locusts and honey.
Life isn't always a bed of roses
When you're the American Moses.
IS ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING IN THE SUN?
How did she write verse? -- Let me count the ways! --
She was given the gift of literary Grace
And wrote down verse after reading voraciously
And writing some words down ostentatiously.
She wrote verse from her room on Wimpole Street,
Until her heart was clobbered
When she met beloved Robert,
And it palpitated, and it skipped one simple beat.
She wrote verse freely with no taxes on its use,
As freely and as purely as a reformed welfare cheat.
She wrote verse with a pen that expressed her views
While eating salads lettuce-y and carrotty,
Only to find it soaking in the vinegar! -- And, if I choose,
I shall but menace her by using parody.