If Mike were a musician
He would be in a position
To orchestrate a symphony
About his love for Tiffani.
If Mike were a Romantic bard
His verse would sparkle the boulevard,
Outshining Keats and Byron roundly
With sonnets of Tiffani from Iron County.
If Mike were an actor on the Great White Way,
He would proclaim his joy in a Broadway play,
Portraying to the audience, to every Mrs. And Mr.
The happiness he feels in the presence of his Tiffster.
But Mike's profession is none of the above --
His profession is to profess his love:
Only one person with whom he wants to share it,
And that's with the former Miss Tiffani Garrett.
Now you will find, if you Google and dig,
That Michael John Hacken has an edifying gig:
He designs edifices and gives them worth
By building them up from the soil of the earth.
In other words, Mike is a real estate guy,
And it's not too difficult to prophesy
That he and his bride, leaving father and mother,
Will find their "real state" in joy with each other.
If Mike were my son, and he is,
I would rejoice in this new wife of his:
Now they can both stop movin' and packin'
And settle on down as a family named Hacken.