CARE TO JOIN US IN A CONGO LINE?
The Spanish and the Portuguese
(With an ethic that depraves)
Established many colonies
In Africa for slaves.
Next, a French governor sent scribes
To instruct the Congo tribes:
"I know that you are Bantu,
But I order every man to
Not to mention every wench.
The Belgians, too,
Made this assessment
Of the Congo Basin:
"It's not a bad investment
We would be facin'.
If we chase the natives off it,
We could make a decent profit!"
Then the English, with their own intent,
Visited the darkest continent.
Knowing this, it is only fair
To ask if there is room
For us to care
Whether Stanley met Livingstone, I presume?
WHO'S THAT LURKING IN THE CURTAINS?
Among the U.S. presidents
Who used the White House as their residence
Was Honest Abe,
Who had to save
The nation's unity bravely
And end the abomination of slavery.
(That was one of his nicest touches.)
Lincoln saw that War was fought Civilly...
And delivered us from the allegedly evil clutches
Of Robert E. Lee.
Then one day, Abraham Lincoln
About going to see a play.
He should have picked a different day.
MA BELL FED ALEXANDER GRAHAM CRACKERS...
When Alexander spoke through that ragtime mouthpiece
"Come here, Watson, I need you,"
There were no other phones in the North or Southeast,
No operators to greet you,
No long-distance calls nor call-waiting,
No phone solicitations infuriating,
No beepers nor cellular phones,
Not even digital ringtones,
Not even a minimal
Someone had to pay for progress, but still...
I find it more cruelty than mirth
That Watson was the one who paid the bill,
That first telephone bill on earth.
Yes, ladies and gents:
He had to shell
To finance Ma Bell.
LIEUTENANT, HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE "SIOUX?"
General George A. Custer
Often would bluster
About the courage he could muster
In wars and organized bear-shoots.
Custer's attitude got fixed
When he and his men were shorn
(Close to their hair-roots)
On a grassy knoll
With a gentle roll
Near the Little Big Horn
Did I mention his perforated liver?
Is quite narrow
And will often leave a hole
In body and soul.)
Custer thought his strategies good
For the lay of the land,
But in this particular neighborhood
It led to his Last Stand.