Rap entitled
"JOF, you are OFF"
Presented on the occasion
of Janet O. Francis' retirement celebration,
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
Now WHEN we reFER to JOF by NAME,
We ENter on IN to the ACronym GAME
And we MEAN to SAY
In a POST-modern WAY
that NO other LETters than J-O-F
Could BETter repreSENT Janet FRANcis herSELF.
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
And YET we know ACroNYMs cause conFUsion,
eNOUGH to CAUSE a major BRAIN conTUsion:
Do JAY- oh- EFF truly SIGniFY
A neostructuralist rhetorical manipulation alienated from any ironic need to perSONiFY
Or ARE they three LETters that IN the END
Simply TELL us that SHE is JUST – OUR – FRIEND?
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
Now, WHEN we tell JANet that SHE is "OFF,"
We don't MEAN to POINT to any QUIRKS of JOF,
‘Cuz ALL we are TRYin' to GET through her SKULL
is to LET her KNOW that our HEARTS are FULL,
and WE'RE as enAMORed as the POEMS of lord BYron
to KNOW that she is NOT SHY... but SHE's reTIRin'.
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
She WALKS in BEAUty, yeah, LIKE the NIGHT
And SELdom if EVer is SHE upTIGHT
With those SMILES that WIN, with CHEEKS that GLOW,
A MIND at PEACE with ALL beLOW,
Oh YEAH, so many DAYS in GOODness SPENT,
the YEARS in CATaloging, WHERE have they WENT?
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
PreCISion work is TOUGH, but at the END of the DAY,
JANet often GOES on a BUSman's holiDAY;
Yeah, when JOF wanders OFF with a BOOK to READ,
She forGETS about the BARcode and the SUBjects that are KEYED,
She forGETS the two-SIXty field and ALL the OTHers,
So SHE can pay atTENtion to the WORDS between the COVerS.
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
SomeTIMES she reads MYSteries all FULL of repreHENsion,
SomeTIMES the butler DID it, just for NARRative conVENtion;
SomeTIMES she doesn't KNOW, and this KEEPS her in susPENSion;
At TIMES she sees the LITerary QUALity asSUMing a MINiscule diMENsion,
While OTHer times the DEPTH and richness CAPture her atTENtion:
But ALways she can BOUNCE it off the BRAIN of Gloria JENson.
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
Now, you MAY have seen DAYS when jof HAD a vacant STARE
As she VISited FANTasy SPHERES that are PHYsically not THERE
In her BOOKS of science FICtion -- a PLEASant enough adDICTion,
Yeah, a TEXTual affLICtion of ALien interDICtion
WRITten with conVICtion and yet FREE of all reSTRICtion,
A galACtic jurisDICtion that proVIDES a fine dePICtion
of the HUman and the NOT-so-HUman contraDICtion...
(It IS no dereLICtion, but a GLORious beneDICtion).
In SHORT, jof can SNORT lots and LOTS of COOL escapist FARE,
But SOME is even MORE than fair; it HAS a certain FLAIR.
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
Now, NOwhere in STONE is it CARVED and enGRAVEN
That SHE is a SAINT, except mayBE a latter-DAY one,
And YET you know her NAME is JANet FRANcis,
And THAT'S for sure a NAME that SINGS and DANCES:
JOF, let's exCLAIM the TRUTH to you, MISSy,
YOU are one Saint FRANcis that ain't NEVer been a SISSy.
BAY, buh-buh-BEE, buh-buh-BYE-BOH-BOO,
JOF, you are OFF
JOF, you are OFF
JOF, you are OFF
with a ... Merci Beaucoup.
