The Computer in Sammy's Head

Last night, when Sammy went to bed,

A computer turned on in Sammy's head.

Slugga-Slugga-Slugga...Sleep!

Chugga-Chugga-Chugga...Beep!

Upon my word,

You should have seen

Sammy's monitor

Fill up with a dream...

Chugga-Chugga-Chugga...From...

A Sugar-Sugar-Sugar... Plum!

Other people, it seems,

Were having different dreams.

So... Sammy showed 'em

The modem

Connected to his jaw...

And he told what Sammy saw

When his brain was fogged in

And Sammy was logged in.

Bloopa-Doopa-Doopa...More!

Sloopa-Choopa-Choopa...Snore!

Sammy had Awful-Eiffel Apples

Dance inside his skull.

He won them in French raffles

And ate till he was full.

They had some special powers:

They spoke and said: "Beware us,

'Cause we are shaped like Eiffel Towers

And wanna go back to Paris!"

Since Sammy knew

The Atlantic Ocean is very, very deep,

That's where Sammy threw

Those Awful-Eiffel Apples in his sleep.

Awfula-Awfula-Awfula...App!

Eiffela-Eiffela-Eiffela...Zap!

Sammy saw a Bing-Bong Bush

With drumberries on its sides.

Sammy gave a Ping-Pong Push

And beat those jungle hides.

Then the Bing-Bong Bush said:"Why

Do you beat on me so much?"

Sammy said:"It's just because I

Have got the drummer's touch."

Binga-Binga-Binga...Bush!

Bonga-Bonga-Bonga...Whoosh!

Sammy milked a Can-Can Cow

All dancing with a flutter:

It's not hard if you know how

To spigot from the udder.

But when the Can-Can Cow

Kept dancing and wouldn't sputter,

Sammy saw that all her milk

Had slowly changed to butter.

Canna-Canna-Canna...Udder!

Manna-Manna-Manna...Butter!

Sammy touched a Diddle-Doodle Dot

Upon a little poodle,

But the only thing the doggy got

Was trouble by the oodles:

As soon as Sammy touched that dog,

The poodle gave a cough

And barked his "Arf, Arf" monologue...

And then his tail fell off!

Diddla-Diddla-Diddla... Tail!

Doodla-Doodla-Doodla... Fail!

Sammy tried to eat an Extra-Exit Egg,

But every time he touched the shell...

The Extra-Exit Egg
Would grow an extra leg

And scramble off to New Rochelle.

Running away, light and breezy,

The egg would say:"I'm over easy."

Eggstra-Eggstra-Eggstra...Humpty!

Legstra-Legstra-Legstra...Jumpity!

Sammy walked in the Fee-Fye-Fo Field,

Which was sticky with jelly and jammy...

The field had a voice that squealed:

"Fee-Fye-Fo... I'm squishy under Sammy!"

The Fee-Fye-Fo Field was SO runny

In its land of Milk and Honey,

That Bricka-Bracka Bread ran up to Sammy

And said: "I'll soak up that jelly and jammy!"

Jelly-O-Jelly-O-Jelly-O...Joke!

Belly-O-Belly-O-Belly-O...Soak!

Sammy in his little car

Drove into the Grib-Grab Garage.

But when he got his car that far,

He saw it was a Mip-Map-Mirage.

The Grib-Grab Garage dissipated,

So Sammy sat and waited...

Until another garage felt her

Duty to come give his car some shelter.

Gribbity-Groobbity-Grabbity...Helter!

Grabbity-Groovity-Gravity...Shelter!

Sammy walked into a Hoo-Doo House

And said "Hello" to a Hoo-Doo Mouse.

But neither the house nor the mouse could say:

"So Sammy, how are you doing today?"

They couldn't say: "How do you do?"

They couldn't say: "What's new with you?"

The only words they knew were two:

One was "Hoo" and the other was "Doo."

Hoobity-Hoobity-Hoobity...Doo!

Doobity-Doobity-Dooobity...You!

Sammy sucked on Easy-Sneezy Ice

I think he even licked some twice.

It melted in his little mouth...

In the mouth of Sammy South.

Sammy said:"As a rule,

This ice is cool.

But what I find less appe-teasing

Is that it makes me keep on sneezing..."

Eezity-Eezity-Eezity...A few!

Sneezity-Sneezity-Sneezity... A-choo!

Sammy swam with Jingle-Jangle Jellyfish

'Til they became the best of friends.

The Jingle-Jangles lived inside a jelly dish...

But not too deep: they didn't want to get the bends.

Those Jellyfish swam with Jingle-Jangles

At the end of every tentacle.

They jingled at the weirdest angles,

Maybe because their jangles were bentacle.

The Jingle-Jangle Jellyfish, one day,

Said: "We will grant you one wish!"

But they were surprised to hear Sammy say:

"I want a sandwich of peanut butter and jellyfish!"

Jingly-Jingly-Jingly...Dish!

Jangly-Jangly-Jangly...Fish!

Sammy jumped all over the zoo

With his Karate-Karma Kangaroo.

The Kangaroo said:"I can vouch

I have a black belt in my pouch!"

Just to show how strong I am,

I'm going to fight with little Sam!"

Sammy thought about the fight for a minute,

Knowing the Karate-Karma Kangaroo would win it.

Then he said: "Mr. KKK,"

Fighting's bad karma every day!"

Krotty-Krotty-Krotty...Chop!

Body-Body-Body...Shop!

Sammy saw a Little-Lentil-Lion

Just lyin' on the ground.

He thought he heard it cryin,'

As it made this little lion sound:

"Somebody did a bungle

On me, the King of the Jungle:

I'm supposed to be tough and mean...

But I'm made of little beans!

That's the image I'm carryin':

Little-Lentil-Lion... 100% vegetarian!

Tryin-O-Tryin-O-Tryin-O...Roar!

Lion-O-Lion-O-Lion-O...Herbivore!

Sammy ate a White-and-Yellow Marshmallow Pie

That was stacked up very high

With lots of Ring-Rang Meringue.

When Sammy chewed the meringue, it rang,

And it rang and it rang and it sang...

'Til Sammy followed

With his teeth and swallowed

The white and the yellow

Marshmallow.

Ringaboo-Ringaboo-Ringaboo...Rang!

Singafew-Singafew-Singafew...Sang!

Sammy climbed up in a nest

To take a nap and rest.

But before he got to doze...

What flew in, but:a Narrow-Nested Nose!

The Narrow-Nested Nose

said through its narrow nostril

(With a voice that was prepostril):

"Hey, you little human!

Why are you sitting on my albumen?"

Said Sammy:"I'm just taking a little nap."

Said the nose:"I live here, you little sap!"

So Sammy said: "Why don't you go

Like a good little nose and blow?"

Nesty-Nesty-Nesty...Nose!

Nasty-Nasty-Nasty...Blows!

Sammy

Swammy

In the Oaky-Soaky Ocean

With a gentle swimming motion.

Sammy tasted the Oaky-Soaky water,

And the water got hotter.

When Oaky-Soaky got to his stomach... Bloop!

t turned itself into split-pea soup.

Oakity-Oakity-Oakity...Water!

Soakity-Soakity-Soakity...Got hotter!

Sammy saw a Pineapple Chapel

Inside his left-most brain,

And whenever the Pineapple

People went inside, it started to rain.

It rained and rained Pineapple juice

Over the ceiling and over the pews,

'Til Pineapple People got thoroughly juiced...

Even over Sammy till his nerves synapsed...

But because of the prayer

the Pineapple Preacher used,

The pineapple chapel never collapsed.

Piney-Piney-Piney... Apple!

Tiny-Tiny-Tiny...Chapel!

Sammy snuggled up

In a Queeny-Quiny Quilt,

Which was warm as a Fuzzy-Wuzzy Pup

And padded like a Very-Furry Vanderbilt.

Sammy hugged the Quilt

like a duck hugs a quack...

And the Queeny-Quiny Quilt

liked that Snuggly-Snug

So much that the Queeny-Quiny Quilt

squeezed back

And gave Sammy South

a Hacken-Smacken Hug

Queeny-Queeny-Queeny...Snuggle!

Quiny-Quiny-Quiny...Huggle!

Sammy tried to wash his hands

In the Runny-Rolly River,

But the closer he got, the more the sands

Of the Runny-Rolly River would shiver

And run away, 'cuz the river was shy.

If you ever felt scared, then you'll know why!

Sammy said to the River Rolly-Runny:

"I want to be your Runny-Rolly friend!"

And the river said: "Don't try anything funny!,"

And it let Sammy wash in the River bend.

Sammy washed his hands and his Sam-Sum face.

Sammy washed apricots and pickles.

But when Sammy washed an old shoelace,

The Rolly-Runny River said: "Stop! That tickles!"

Funnity-Funnity-Funnity...Pickles!

Runnity-Runnity-Runnity...Tickles!

Sammy jumped in a great big dish

And asked with a great big grin

If Silly-Sally Sailfish

Would give him a ride on her fin.

Silly-Sally Sailfish said: "Of course

I'm not a horse,

But if you'd like to ride about

In this lake of Sauerkraut,

You can perch up on my fin

While I finish up this perch."

Silly-Sally Sailfish gave a Silly-Sally grin

And swam off with a lurch.

She swam off with Sammy

To somewhere near Miami.

Silly-O-Silly-O-Silly-O...Grin!

Sally-O-Sally-O-Sally-O...Fin!

Sammy climbed up, knee by knee...

He climbed right up a Trim-Tram Tree.

Now that's a tree that moves by sails

Along its iron Trim-Tram rails.

Sammy said:"I see little shoots

Growing from your trunk so round.

But where, oh where, are your Steep-Deep Roots

To hold you in the ground?

The Trim-Tram Tree said: "I've got no roots!

Roots are no good for a tree that scoots!

Travel on, travel on, travel I must...

I'm just a tree with wanderlust!

What a sight!

With Sammy holding on tight,

With a billow in her sails,

The Trim-Tram Tree took off on rails!

Trimmity-Trimmity-Trimmity...Rails!

Trammity-Trammity-Trammity...Sails!

Sammy looked out in the night sky

And saw a Hooey-Fooey UFO,

A flying saucer that might try

To scare you, you know.

When Sammy saw those aliens

With Pointy-Jointy Ears,

He said:"We mammalians

Haven't seen you folks in years!"

Aliens tried to scare Sammy South...

But Sammy was too sure of himself.

Hooey-Hooey-Hooey...UFO!

Fooey-Fooey-Fooey...You know!

Little Sammy walked among

Local Chapters of Velociraptors

And sing-sang-sung

Sing-Sang songs of dinosaur captors.

When the Local Velociraptors

Heard all Sammy's Sing-Song chapters,

They slunk-slank slinked

Off to become extinct.

What a lark

In Jurassic Park

For Sammy:

Whammy!

Chobba-Chobba-Chobba...Chapters!

Velobba-Dobba-Dobba...Velociraptors!

Sammy waved at the Wady-Wavy Woman

Who was wading, we're assumin,

Through a plate of Spigotty Spaghetti sauce.

She was doin' that because...

She knew Spigotty Spaghetti sauce is good

For wading in.

Also, she thought it was something she should

Do some waving in.

So the Wady-Wavy Woman waved back

At Sammy, then ate a stack

Of Rickety-Rackety Ravioli.

She only

Wanted to say goodbye,

Then off she went to Uruguay.

After she was gone,

The only thing left was some parmesan.

Wady-Wady-Wady...Woman!

avy-Wavy-Wavy...Zoomin'!

Sammy asked the Perplexy-Vexy X-Ray:

"What is it that you see each day?"

The X-Ray was perplexy

And said to Sammy with vexy

Groans:

"All I ever see are bones!

I've wondered now for weeks and weeks...

When can I please see some cheeks?"

Said Sammy to the X-Ray: "Have you tried

Not to look so far inside?

Don't despair and please don't weep:

Just try not looking quite so deep!"

Plexity-Plexity-Plexity...X-Ray!

exity-Vexity-Vexity...Next day!

Sammy sniffed some Yodel-Yellow Yogurt

That had a voice like Humprey Bogart:

"Eat me, Sammy, and you will see

That you can Yodel-Yellow, like me!"

So Sammy ate that Yodel-Yellow Yogurt down

And started yodeling all over town.

Everything Sammy touched (hot or cold)

Turned a Yodel-Yellow color of gold.

Then Sammy ate a Creamy-Crummy Caramel

Made of cream and milk and eggular...

And all the colors went back to normal:

Everything was back to regular.

Creemity-Creemity-Creemity... Yellow!

Crummity-Crummity-Crummity...Mellow!

Sammy visited the Zig-Zag Zoo

Where everybody zig-zags: me and you

And even the donkeys and even the pigs

Walk in zags and walk in zigs.

There are no straight-line zig-zag paths;

Turtles swim in zig-zag baths.

Monkeys zig-zag through the trees,

And elephants are cooled by the zig-zag breeze.

Sammy ate popcorn from a bag,

But it went to his mouth with a zig... and a zag.

Ziggy-Ziggy-Ziggy...Zoo!

Zaggy-Zaggy-Zaggy...You!

These are a few of the trillion things...

Things the slip-sloop-sleepster brings

Into Sammy's computer head

When he is dreaming in his bed.

Sammy, I hope it wasn't hard to share

The trillion things you have in there!

But... what things will come to Sammy

Next time he puts on his pajammy?

Pajammy-Jammy-Jammy...Mouth!

Sammy-Sammy-Sammy... South!

by Sammy South's GrandPa Hacken