YOU'RE SUCH A CAVE MAN!
Oog MacFroog was having quite a ball
Socializing at Neanderthal,
Dating shapely cave girls who, demure,
Had at least a four-foot long coiffure.
With such, he'd drag the streets in dusty leisure,
Or spend his time at other sorts of pleasure.
With his Stone-Age chromosomes
Oog developed the sciences
And crafted crude appliances
For prehistoric homes:
Within his darkened condo cave
(The largest on his block),
He scraped a rock
Across his face to shave...
And then in his simplicity
He discovered static electricity
By touching amber which he'd saved...
Oog's meat was quickly microwaved.
OKAY, SO WHO'S IN CHARGE OF THE UNICORNS?
The sins of mankind grew as rotten
As weevils in a boll of cotton.
Whereupon The Almighty, His anger seething,
Tested mankind's deep-sea breathing
And found that bad guys curb their tongues
When water has filled up their lungs.
Noah, wise to the Wash Day From Sin,
Had taken all the animals in
And had arked across the many waters
With all those animal sons and daughters,
With all those chiquitas and chiquitos
(But it's too bad he saved those two mosquitos).