THAT'S THE WAY THE TYRANNOSAURUS WRECKS
In the era Triassic
Dinosaurs were monastic,
With their snouts
And squinting through pits of tar
At the stars.
In the era Jurassic,
Dinosaurs were bombastic,
Nibbling a leaf
Or sinking their teeth
With a crunch
Into each other for lunch.
In the era Cretaceous,
The reptile god was not gracious,
And the dinosaurs had to die.
One of them blinked...
Then they were extinct.
We don't know why.
If birds are the dinosaurs' descendants,
I harbor some resentments
For the way they take to prehistoric flight
And stain my sidewalk guano-white.
WE'VE ALREADY BEEN DRIVEN OUT, THANKS
East out of Eden, Adam and Eve
Suddenly had to leave,
'Cuz there was no pardon
For what they had eaten in the garden.
(It seems that God had been watching from His chapel
When they bit into that apple...)
Although it was a Fall
Involving low cholesterol,
It became clear when they munched
On the fruit that had been bunched
Upon that tree (within God's sight)
That this was a clear-cut case of sinful overbite.
With Devil as ill-wisher on the sidelines,
Adam and Eve had no nutritional guidelines...
When they ate from that tree of knowledge,
Perhaps they thought it would lead to college
Rather than as a portal
To sins that are mortal.
After being blamed
For eating those fat-free fruits
-- And unable to deny it --
Adam and Eve were ashamed
Of their birthday suits
And of the Red Delicious that ruined their diet.